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Five Covid rules you haven't stuck to since Freedom Day

INFECTION numbers are through the roof again, because nobody’s done any of these since Monday July 19th:  

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Jacob Rees-Mogg tells heartbroken brood they will only have a 12-bird roast this Christmas

JACOB Rees-Mogg has informed his wife and six children that shortages mean their Christmas feast will be a mere 12-bird roast instead of the usual 17. 

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