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How to wank safely in a heatwave

HORNY in extreme heat? Drawn to rubbing one out despite the risks? Take these precautions to avoid scandalous fatality: 

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Gelato: it's just f**king ice-cream, isn't it

ACROSS upscale heatwave Britain, gelato is being served to middle-class families who consider themselves above ice-cream. But is it just ice-cream? Yes: 

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