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Mega-Clap Terrorises Ibiza

A MUTANT strain of gonorrhoea has laid waste to large sections of Ibiza and is threatening to invade the UK this summer, experts have warned.

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Time Traveller From The Future Warns Of Terminator Sequels

A HAUNTED-looking man arrived from the future last night to warn mankind of Terminator sequels so incredibly bad they will make you cry inside.

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