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Only thing that causes cancer is fags, Britain tells scientists

SMOKING is the only thing that causes cancer and everything else is fine, Britain has told annoying scientists.

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I’m not ignoring Valentine’s Day because I’m single, I’m ignoring it because it’s bullshit

“PLEASE don’t think I’m refusing to engage with Valentine’s Day because I won’t be receiving any cards. It’s actually because it’s a massive pile of wank.

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