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Who Will Be The First Arsehole To Wear A Facemask?

AS the number of confirmed pork flu cases in the UK soared into single figures, millions of people across Britain were last night wondering who would be the first arsehole to start wearing a facemask.

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Government To Monitor One Trillion Cock Pill Emails

THE government has outlined plans to monitor all of Britain's email traffic, covering everything from penis enlargement to Lindsey Lohan straddling a Labrador.

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