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Now I am safe in Moscow with my friend Putin no harm will befall me. By President Assad

WHEW! Exaggerated sigh of relief! Being overthrown is stressful, so it’s great to be here in the refuge of the Kremlin where there is no cause to worry about threats to my life. 

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How to make any pint into a Guinness

A LOOMING Guinness shortage will deprive millions of their favourite tipple, but don’t despair – following these simple tips will turn any pint into a Guinness. 

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