Obama Obviously Has A New Watch, Says Brown

PRESIDENT Obama clearly has a new watch and is fascinated with it, Gordon Brown revealed last night.

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My Big Gap Year

I dreamed of following in the footsteps of crotchety Mongoloid trouble-maker, Genghis Khan. But I was really rather disappointed with what I found. For a start, Ulan Bator is surprisingly low on cannibals and many of the men don't even have beards. Not even the smattering of dirt that covers most things could cheer me up. And it got even worse when I arrived at the Mighty Khan guest house in the centre of town and found it crammed with brawny American students. This was NOT what I had in mind. I thought things had perked up when I heard a disgruntled local getting things off his chest with a spot of throat-singing out the back of the bin house, but it turned out it was just a pissed Frenchman being sick.

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