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Paul Dacre institutionalised, 600 of his journalists on medication...

In this comfortingly plausible account, THE DAILY MASH imagines the day the Mail invaded the Falklands. 

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Thief gets to open Abbey Clancy's ghastly Christmas presents

ABBEY Clancy and Peter Crouch were today devastated by the thought of a thief opening all their vulgar, over-priced Christmas gifts.

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