The white van man's guide to going on holiday

TIME for a well-earned break from being the salt of the earth? Here’s how to be bigoted and furious somewhere hot full of foreign bastards:

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Wave your debit card: the wanker's guide to getting served at the bar

LOOKING to get drinks at your busy local, and also a wanker? Follow these tips and you’ll have an irate member of staff pulling your pint in no time:

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