Dear Holly It’s been so long since someone rang my bell I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have another orgasm that doesn’t involve four AA batteries. All the men at work are either married, gay or potential serial killers, except for Brian in accounts, and I’ve already shagged him and discovered his horrific affliction. If I wasn’t such an aggressive atheist I’d join a nunnery, so instead I thought I’d become a lesbian, but I am not quite sure how to go about this. I quite like Constant Craving by KD Lang: do you think I’ve got what it takes?AbigailWigan

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