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Five baby things you spent a bloody fortune on that your child won't even remember

HAVING a child famously costs an absolute packet. Here are five eye-wateringly expensive purchases the ungrateful little shit won’t ever know you made.

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The first snowdrops, and other things twee wankers get excited about

KNOW someone who thinks spring is here because they’ve seen one snowdrop? They’re probably excited about all this nonsense too:

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