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Man goes whole week without ejaculating for first time since 1995

A MAN has reached a key milestone in his journey towards respectable old age by getting through seven days and nights without shooting his load. 

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Britons with f**k-all money hit hardest by bill rises, obviously

SINGLE-parent families, the chronically unemployed and anyone else without a pot to piss in will find higher household bills hard to afford, in case you f**king wondered. 

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