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Man planning his own 21-gun salute with airbombs while hammered

A MAN is planning his own 21-gun salute to the Queen which will take place at midnight, in his garden, blind drunk and lighting fireworks. 

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News unrelated to Queen irrelevant and offensive

WORLD events which have nothing to do with the Queen are not to be reported because they are insignificant and impertinent, the British media has confirmed. 

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