New mum spends first night out hopelessly pissed and irrationally paranoid

A NEW mum who had been desperate to go out for months immediately got hammered and spent the whole evening fretting about her baby.

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Why mummy was sitting on top of daddy shouting: What to do if you're caught in the act by your five-year-old

HUMPING away merrily then realise your child has wandered into the bedroom? Try and bail yourselves out with one of these implausible lies.

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