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Seven poncey Halloween costumes for middle-class neighbourhoods

THE middle-classes are using Halloween to be creative and witty now they can’t do it with signs on Brexit marches. Hatfuls of bellends will dress kids in these: 

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'Lovely light mornings' thinks woman yet to comprehend cost of time's evil bargain

A WOMAN enjoying a daylight commute will only realise the true price of her devilish deal with time at around 4pm today. 

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