Subscribe

The twat's guide to letting everyone know you're sick of standing in a queue

WANT to make the queue you’re standing in move faster? Here are five tactics that won’t make a blind bit of difference but will make sure everyone else knows you’re a dickhead.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Crisp sandwiches and other meals that aren't anything to be proud of

PEOPLE rave about crisp sandwiches and other stupid food concoctions. If that’s you, here are some to stop wanking on about and eat a normal grown-up meal instead.

Checking article access…

Next story ›