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'F**k the Tories' is impartial, say experts

EXPERTS have agreed that Channel 4 news presenter Jon Snow shouting ‘Fuck the Tories’ at Glastonbury counts as an impartial, middle-ground statement these days. 

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Britain breathes sigh of relief as quick-thinking May narrowly averts public sector pay disaster

THERESA May has saved Britain once again by acting decisively to rescue the country from the threatened catastrophe of firefighters being paid more. 

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