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How to write a triumphant column about Trump that will make you look a dickhead in four years or less

ARE you a journalist? Right-of-centre? Looking to write a gloating column about President Trump that will age very, very badly? Follow these tips: 

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He says he doesn't date women over 30, you shout 'House!': the rules of Bumble Guy Bingo

WITH his vinyl, woollen hat, impeccable left-wing politics, eschewing of commitment and obsession with Japanese whiskey, Bumble Guy lends himself to a fun game. Play along at home!

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