Subscribe

Five things the buzzing noise that is definitely your flatmate's vibrator could also plausibly be

THAT sound is a vibrator, and you are listening to your housemate get her rocks off. Here’s five other things that unmistakeable noise could be if you try very hard to convince yourself.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Tim Martin, and five other reasons not to go back to Wetherspoons

TEMPTED to ignore your moral compass and visit Wetherspoons when it reopens? Come to your senses with these reminders.

Checking article access…

Next story ›