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How not to feel ridiculous while being spanked

CHRISTIAN Grey has a lot to answer for, because now every woman on Bumble wants a billionaire dom and is settling. But still feels absurd the moment her bum’s out. Use these tips:  

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We ask you: which FA Cup giant-killers will we condescendingly congratulate for winning a football match today?

TODAY, professional football players will play others who earn more, subjecting their team and town to patronising media write-ups. Who will be the plucky victors?

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