How to kill sexual arousal by describing your own sexual arousal

DO you want to engage in passionate lovemaking but can’t help describing it in a really naff way? Here’s how to kill any chance of sexual activity.

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Show total respect for D-Day, say people milking it for all it's worth

POLITICIANS and other twats have demanded everyone has the utmost respect for D-Day while shamelessly using it for their own purposes.

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