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Six excuses to text your ex and tell them you're with someone else

THE break-up was tough. Working on yourself, ie wanking furiously, was even harder. But now you’re shagging someone new, better and you need your ex to know. Use these excuses: 

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University town fun for three years and not a day more

TOWNS where students go to get drunk and occasionally attend lectures are fun for exactly three years only, it has emerged.

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