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'I've been online once and there were cocks': Nadine Dorries explains why the internet is being banned

YOU think you like the internet, but you don’t. It’s actually bad. I went on there once and saw not just one cock, but loads of cocks. That’s why I’m getting rid of it.

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Five things people who take f**king ages in the shower are doing that definitely aren't wanking

DOES your partner take so long in the shower you’re convinced they’re having a wank? They’re probably doing these weird things instead. Let’s hope so, anyway.

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