Steve Jobs Forced To Accept Badly Designed Liver

APPLE boss Steve Jobs was last night recovering well despite being forced to accept a transplanted liver that was badly designed and with limited scope for expensive upgrades.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,I've been married to my wife for nearly twenty years and we have two wonderful children together. Regrettably, I seem to have accidentally had sex with a woman at work and I am worried my wife might find out. The main catalyst for this unfortunate situation is that my wife is a dried-up, bootfaced old hag who spends most of her time arguing with me and complaining about my attitude, whereas my colleague is a nubile and leggy strumpet who smells of vanilla, has a chest like a bouncy castle, and lets me ride her doggy-style. As a red blooded man I feel there is little I could have done to prevent this occurrence, and yet I can’t help but feel slightly guilty. What should I do to stop this creeping feeling of regret?GeoffDorking

Checking article access…