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'Thank you for being you' means he's ejaculated: your Reply Guy's messages, decrypted

YOUR online Reply Guy, faithfully leaving a comment under every Instagram post, is always there for you. But what do his messages really mean? 

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Gary Lineker's reign of terror to end

LIBERAL despot Gary Lineker, who has cruelly ruled Britain from his throne of football lies for decades, has announced he is to step down. 

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