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Britain's problem is it's full of twats, say experts

FROM useless wanker politicians to the f**kwitted man-in-the-street the UK’s main problem is that it is full of twats, research has found. 

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Boris Johnson's patronising guide to how long a metre is

METRES aren’t British, so no true patriot should be able to remember how long they are without help. Use these sturdy pointers: 

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