Facebook 'needier than a newborn baby that's just shat itself', say experts

FACEBOOK’S incessant notifications and requests have made it more demanding than a baby that has just soiled itself, experts have confirmed.

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Man with lyrics to ‘How Soon Is Now’ tattooed on his arm starting to think Morrissey may be an arse  

A MAN who has Morrissey’s lyrics tattooed on his body is finally starting to realise the former Smiths frontman is an arsehole.

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