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Gran who won’t say 'bloody' in favour of mass deportations

A PENSIONER who cannot bring herself to say even the mildest swear words has no problem with rounding people up and deporting them.

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Woman sure purchase of new stationery will fill gaping void in her life

A WOMAN who bought lots of new notebooks and colourful pens is convinced her life will now stop being full of uncertainty and dread.

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