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Jesus wants to have a quiet one for his birthday this year

OUR Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ has told friends he is not really feeling his birthday this year and is probably just going to stay in. 

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Worst part of Christmas in London is singing chimney sweeps on every corner

LONDONERS have confirmed the bloody lights and Christmas markets are bad enough, but the soot-covered chimney sweeps performing upbeat musical numbers are worse. 

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