Middle class foodie who 'sources ingredients' actually just going to Tesco Express

A MIDDLE class man refers to his food shopping as ‘sourcing ingredients’ as opposed to ‘going to the shops’, it has emerged.

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'You moved slightly, so that means we're going for a walk' says ridiculously excited dog

A DOG is absurdly optimistic that his owner shifting slightly on the sofa means a long, exciting walk is imminent.

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