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Not If You Paid Us, Say Gurkhas

VICTORIOUS Gurkhas last night said they wouldn't live in Britain if you paid them, insisting they really just wanted to prove a point.

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Benitez Handed £20m To Piss Straight Up A Wall

LIVERPOOL coach Rafael Benitez was last night handed a £20m transfer budget to spend on one big-name signing or shit away on a collection of abject losers that you've never heard of.

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