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Queen spends first welfare cheque on fags and cans

WITH the Crown Estate due to receive a bailout after a slump in revenue, the Queen has been spotted spending her first welfare cheque on cheap fags and booze.

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Five hellish things you should definitely put off until 2021

THIS year has been shit enough without attempting to sort out all the huge, festering problems in your life. So keep sweeping these things under the carpet until 2020 is over.

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