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Susan Boyle Going According To Plan, Says Cowell

FREAK-wrangler Simon Cowell has urged people across Britain not to worry about Susan Boyle, insisting everything was going according to plan.

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Wear Ear Protection During Pig Sex, Farmers Warned

FARMERS who copulate with pigs risk permanent deafness from the animals' frenzied squealing, according to latest guidelines from the Health and Safety Executive.

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