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The Mash Guide to the Final Journey

1) Baroness Thatcher’s coffin leaves Westminster and is taken up Whitehall to Downing Street where it will be removed from the hearse and dropped on Geoffrey Howe. A soldier, sailor and RAF pilot will then kick the former foreign secretary in the stomach for a full minute.

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) You’re sure this pain-relieving gel should have started working by now. Maybe try it on another slice of toast.

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