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The new rules for school which children will unfailingly obey because that's what kids are like

THE government has outlined its new half-arsed rules for reopening schools which are impossible to follow and will be ignored. But what are they? 

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Test and trace demanded for those still infected with Brexit enthusiasm

SCIENTISTS have called for tests to locate those who still think Brexit is going to be great, so that they can be isolated from the rest of society.

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