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Vaxxine or Rona? What to name your lockdown baby

SEVEN months ago you were bored and horny and there were no condoms in the house and the shops were all closed. So what are you planning to call your lockdown lovechild? 

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Nine things to pretend you're looking forward to

CHRISTMAS will be cancelled, booking a holiday is idiocy and the calendar is blank. Convince people you’ve not given up all hope by pretending to look forward to these:

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