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It's War!!! Overwhelming Support For Salmond's Dutch Assault

SCOTLAND is a nation of demented, blood-thirsty warmongers, straining to mount a full-scale assault on Holland, according to a Daily Mash readers' poll.

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Andy Murray Appoints Excuses Coach

BRITISH number one Andy Murray has completed his preparations for dropping out of Wimbledon with the appointment of a world-class excuses coach.

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