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Your salary safe from inflation, reassure bosses

THE 3.8 per cent rise in inflation will not trigger any confusing rises in your take-home pay, the UK’s employers have confirmed. 

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Six places migrants can go now: ideas from the Council of Deranged Racists

WE have solved the migrant hotel problem, but apparently they don’t just vanish? No problem. We’ve used our collective expertise to find new locations to house them: 

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