One Woman's Week: Getting My Scapegoat

WHEN I was a younger woman, I flirted with the idea of getting into politics because of my diplomatic skills, impeccably high moral standards and vocabulary consisting of roughly a million words. This is why I cannot fathom how recent events have come to decimate our once so fabulous government. It's at times like these that I wish I had the power to use my skills as a primary school teacher to get things back in line.

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Police To Question Long List Of Starlets Over Jewel Theft

DETECTIVES who questioned Lindsay Lohan over the theft of a £250,000 diamond necklace are to call in Scarlett Johansson and Megan Fox while they're at it.

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