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A batshit mental Daily Mail article from the point of view of the First Baby, Wilf Johnson

GOOD morning, I’m national engine of hatred the Daily Mail, and today I’ll be wearing the mask of Boris Johnson’s one-year-old son Wilf. Isn’t that disturbingly adorable? 

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Five sexual fantasies that would be mortifying to actually go through with

Got some sexual fantasies to tick off your bucket list? These should never become a reality because they’d be an excruciating let down:

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