Boris Johnson searching UK for place he won't get a boll*cking

THE prime minister is searching the whole of Britain to find a location he can visit without a member of the public tearing him a new ars*hole.

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Toddlers into making their parents look like lying w**kers

TODDLERS have confirmed that refusing to do the clever thing they have been doing all week so their parents look like liars is their favourite game.

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