Petula says: Dear Gagging,My dear old mum always used to say to me that nothing in the love making department was better than sex with your husband. How right she was! I can’t say how glad I was when Mr Soul decided to give up see-sawing away on top of me every night, pulling the face like a chinaman, and concentrate instead on playing hide the wally with that common little tart he claimed was his secretary. Aren’t they supposed to be able to type as well as wander about with their knickers showing? But I digress. Five days? And hubby away playing golf. Don’t you get your milk delivered? Or what about postie? When is the window cleaner due? I must say I admire your self-control, but fear you may be doing your choo choo some serious harm. Use it or lose it, I say!

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