'Christ, we're f**ked': Seven honest three-word slogans for the Tories to use

‘STOP the boats’ is the Tories’ latest idiotically simple three-word phrase to try to reel in voters. These would be far more honest:

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Trying to go gastro: Five death knells for your local pub

WITH pubs in the UK shutting down at an alarming rate, here are five traditional desperation measures that mean a boozer is about to close for good.

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