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Every theft must be investigated in case it's an immigrant, says Braverman

THE home secretary has ruled that every burglary, car theft and stolen bicycle must be investigated in case it leads to a precious, wonderful deportation. 

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Man forced to watch period drama that doesn't even have tits in

A MAN has been tricked into watching a historical drama that is not even one of the good ones with heaving bosoms and period-accurate lesbian threesomes. 

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