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Gatherings outlawed but f**k the law, Covid surging but back to the office, don't see family but go the pub with strangers

DOWNING Street has confirmed that for every policy it is introducing the opposite policy so nobody knows what the f**k they are doing ever. 

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Thank f**k for that, say people planning nights out in Bolton

BOLTONERS are overjoyed that they cannot have a night out in Bolton for the foreseeable future.

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