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Gove reinstates school sports if he can be picked first

WEEDY education secretary Michael Gove has promised to reinstate school sports funding as long as he can be picked first by the tall, healthy boy who looks like Robert Pattinson.

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British media urged to do the decent thing with a revolver

BRITAIN’S media has been urged to go into its study with an old service revolver after the Daily Telegraph had to trick Vince Cable into revealing Lib Dems and Tories don’t get on very well.

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