Subscribe

'I always thought I'd have to quit because I'd been caught f**king someone'

I NEVER thought it would end like this. In my head, after I’d led Britain roaring back to imperial glory, I have to quit because I’ve been caught f**king someone. 

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Are you punishing yourself enough this January?

WE’RE halfway through a month of gruelling self-improvement, from temperance to exercise to chugging oat milk. But are you hurting yourself enough? 

Checking article access…

Next story ›