'I have won all the debates and therefore the election'

WE have held debates, I won them all and they were on television. Everybody watched them and everybody will therefore vote for me or what was the point?

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Bellends in your local park now it's sunny, ranked from worst to best

HOT weather is great until you go to the park and realise midges aren’t the only bastards the sun has brought out. But which annoyance makes you most want to destroy the place so no one can ever use it again?

Checking article access…