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I will be taking eight fag breaks a day, says Starmer

AS well as clocking off at 6pm on Fridays, Keir Starmer has announced he will take hourly fag breaks in the garden of Downing Street. 

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France to remain complete f**king mess with amazing wine and trains

A BRITON striving to understand the politics of France and the French people has admitted, after yesterday’s vote, he only really gets the wine and the trains. 

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