Subscribe

I will personally fellate Red Wall racists: Keir Starmer's five missions

YESTERDAY I set out Labour’s five missions for the future. Now I’m asking you to join me as we build a new Britain in which every bigot is fellated and no flag goes unshagged.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

You can pick a lock wearing tiny shorts: Signs you're a woman in an action film

ACTION movies have a reputation for lazy female stereotypes, but that’s unfair because some women have a name and don’t just scream. Here are the signs you might be one.

Checking article access…

Next story ›